PAULA T On the Making Of “Canary”
Can you tell us about the inspiration behind "Canary" the story it tells?
“Canary” was inspired by a breakup on a park bench. I had asked if he was able to commit a bit more deeply to our relationship and open up more to me. As we were talking things out, I told him that I had the desire to learn him inside and out. He went silent for a minute then said, “You want to know me inside and out? I’m not even sure I want to know myself inside and out.” At that moment, I realized I couldn’t force him to embrace vulnerability, and I had to let him go. I think I was learning that, in general, I couldn’t force others to grow or give me the kind of love I needed. The more I was relinquishing that control, the more unhinged I made “Canary.”
But it was frustrating: this pattern of falling for people who could not meet me where I’m at. Connecting with people and understanding them is one of my superpowers, but I think it freaks men out. These experiences make me doubt myself and wonder if I’m too much, and it makes me want to clip my wings. It makes me want to stop putting myself out there and opening up to people. But being a Canary is all about being a cutie who celebrates your ability to express, care, and love!
Can you share any interesting or unique musical elements or production techniques used in this song?
I love the mix of live elements and overlaid textural elements! We only did three full live takes of the song, and for the instrumentals we basically ended up using a single one of those takes. The last chorus slowed down as the band tired out. We even left in my silly mistakes. At the same time, I recorded all the additional vocals, electronics, and sample elements in my bedroom. You get the dynamic, organic elements of a live performance combined with all the colors and textural elements I could only achieve experimenting in my bedroom alone.
All the canary sounds that sound like a “lead synth” in the first minute of “Canary” are actually the very first part of the song I made. I was messing around with free National Geographic bird call samples in Logic: chopping, distorting, and sonically torturing them. I realized they had an awesome rhythmic quality. I added some preliminary drum samples over them (at an insane tempo of, like, over 200 beats per minute), and the song instantly came to me! I wrote it in about 20, 30 minutes – it’s not the most complicated song in the world. I like that the complexity of the song is in the texture and emotion swirling around it.
Finally, there’s a lot in there that’s not super apparent to the ear, but contributes to the overall energy of the song. Things turned down really low in the mix that I hope the listener feels in their bones. There are bird calls, field recordings I took at live music shows, recordings of me shouting nonsense—sped up and contorted beyond recognition—that create a sense of agitation.
How do you feel "Canary" represents your artistic identity?
I want my music to be authentically me. I want it to convey my love, effort, and intention. I want it to be well-crafted: colorful and woven like a painting. I want people to be able to hear my heart in it. I am an enormous self-critic, and I can’t listen to anything I make—including this song—without picking it apart. Even so, “Canary” definitely hits all those notes, and that’s why I feel confident releasing it and having it represent me as an artist.
What keeps you motivated and passionate about continuing to create and perform music?
This is going to sound so douchey but it’s honest. Expression is everything! I just have the itch to do it. To connect to the world around me through art: breathing other’s art and creating my own. I’m only ever really happy when I’m honoring my desire to create, which honestly I don’t do nearly enough. I have trouble calling myself an artist. I cringed when I called myself an artist during the last question. I even have trouble calling myself a musician sometimes, which is crazy! I’ve been doing this my whole life, and I never want to stop.
It’s definitely hard to prioritize. I wish everyone who had the itch to make music and art could have all the time in the world for it. That’s the kind of world I want to live in.
What are some key elements that, in your opinion, make a collaboration successful?
Great collaborators balance you out. They fill in the gaps where you have weaknesses, help celebrate the things that make you great, and challenge you when you’ve lost the script. The biggest collaboration in this song was between me and my dear friend, Eli Heath. We produced this song together.
Eli honors my “weird”—especially as a close friend who really understands and values me—while also sharing my perfectionistic rigor. He’s such a fine musician and engineer. I know with Eli, he will make things sound absolutely amazing. I have a short attention span but am very good at splatter painting ideas, and he will spend hours working with the sound files: listening deeply and chiseling away. He’ll get things to sound the way I want but don’t have the patience to achieve (nor have I honed the skills or knowledge, honestly). During our editing sessions he’ll gleefully be my creative co-conspirator as I shove fistfuls of spicy peanuts in my mouth and demand, “Dirtier! Weirder! Pull up Decimort [our favorite bitcrusher plug-in]! Harder attack on the snare. It needs to DRIVE!” But he will not shy away from pushing back against me when I get carried away—when my sensibilities need constraints—and when he argues with me he’s usually correct.
And sometimes great collaborations can’t be quantified. Between the many hours that Eli and I put into “Canary,” the guitar solo from Jake Ford is my absolute favorite part of the song. Once we had that recording, I knew the song was going to be what I wanted it to be. I had only met Jake once before. I played my demo for him (along with fantastic drummer, Addie Vogt) and shared a few notes about what I wanted, and somehow he knew exactly what I was going for. He really liked my song, and our sensibilities and relationship to it just aligned.
Both collaborations are so special to me, and I hope to have many more like them in my lifetime!
