5 Q&A With My Turning Point
Can you tell us about the inspiration behind "The Eulogy" and the story it tells?
“The Eulogy” is a real eulogy to a real lost friendship with someone I have known since about 10 years old (she was 8 and I was 10).
I would walk her to school in the mornings, when her mother had problems she came and lived with us and we shared a bedroom. we grew up together, shared our fears and secrets and hopes for the future.
Then we lost touch in our 20's, she got married, and had kids, I lived my life and had my own relationships.
Then we re-connected in our 30's, fell in love, and got married.
And that was where the differences between a 'romantic' relationship and a platonic, almost sibling-like relationship tore us apart. Your expectations and goals in a relationship can be dramatically different from those of your friends/family etc.
We did not have the emotional tools and romantically involved personalities to be able to take care of each and we ended up separating.
Nothing can be the same after that. I grieved the loss of that as if she had died, it was incredibly painful.
I moved away from my hometown after those two years (job-related) and life has moved on.
Yet the loss of that lifelong friendship has sat, buried in the back of my mind.
On the 19th of December 2024, I woke from a dream at about 3 am, that had, I guess a 'dream person' that possibly represented this person, and all I had in my head as I half woke up were the words "trauma bond."
I fumbled for my phone, and half asleep, I wrote lyrics down in my notes app.
When I woke up in the morning, I wrote these down in my Lyrics notepad (a real paper one) and put them to a chord progression on an acoustic guitar I had already been working on.
By the 24th of December, the song was mastered and finished and registered with the relevant songwriting/publishing bodies.
In total, it took no more than about 8 hours of actual work in my audio workstation to record, mix, and master.
For a song that never should have existed, it just happened so quickly and instinctively.
Were there any challenges or breakthrough moments during the songwriting process for this single?
I have never re-written or changed the order of lyrics in my songs in 36 years.
Typically, lyrics just fall out of my head fully formed with maybe a single word or maybe half a life-changing.
“The Eulogy” saw 4 drafts or swapping verses around as I have this innate, driving belief that there is something special about this song and that I needed to get the lyrics right.
This is the only song I've ever written that has demanded so many lyrical revisions.
The song was never meant to have a piano on it.
The song was going to be just a stripped-down, intimate, 1 acoustic guitar and 1 vocal arrangement.
While recording the song I just 'heard' a piano line in my head that came out of nowhere.
I don’t play piano but I have a MIDI keyboard that I play one hand at a time to create synth/piano/virtual instrument parts.
So I did my thing of working out the right-hand melody part I was hearing in my head and recording that, and then working out of the left-hand piano part and then recording that separately.
Crying during the recording of the vocals was unexpected, but it was there in the final vocal recording. Tears were flowing.
How does "The Eulogy" fit into your overall artistic vision and what can listeners expect from you in the future?
My entire ethos as a songwriter is authenticity, sincerity, and honesty.
I only seem to be able to write diary entries about my life and so any listeners who crave honest storytelling, told with sincerity from a single-person perspective and life experiences and not songwriting by committee can expect just that.
This is not party music. I have found who I am as a musician after decades of ignoring it and trying to be a metal/rock person.
I am a melancholic, wistful, emotionally deep, and open songwriter.
Can you share a bit about your musical background and the journey that led you to where you are today?
I bought my first guitar at age 15 back in 1989 (a pink Hohner Strat copy) from a second-hand shop in Aberdare (my home town).
Joined my first band (Kudos) at 17.
Spent probably the first 10-15 years trying to be a rock/metal guitar player but I just did not have the discipline, not genetics to move my hands that fast!
Discovered Tesla's "Five Man Acoustical Jam" album in my final year at school and this exploded my journey into the acoustic guitar. The Eagles "Hell Freezes Over" comeback album cemented that journey.
When I left Aberdare around 2011, I realised my relationship with playing music was maybe not healthy in the sense of seeking validation externally, and I had to work on myself to discover how to find those things internally, within and from myself, so I left the music behind for years until covid happened.
What role do you feel emotions play in your music, and how do you channel them into your performances?
The emotional component of music is fundamental for me. I'm the person who cries because the music in TV shows and films is somehow able to trigger intense emotional reactions. I have been like that since I was a child. Music is somehow hard-wired into the emotional core of me and is able to illicit intense reactions.
Even though my songs are diary entries from my own life, the emotions I attempt to express are universal. Anyone can know what it feels like to know loss, grief, isolation, etc. So, my hope is that listeners can see a part of themselves reflected in the words I sing and feel a sense of not being alone in their feelings.
