Feature: Zoe Bayani Decodes ‘You Don't Want Help’
What was the creative process like for this particular album?
I started writing this album in July of 2023. I had just gone through a really brutal and sudden breakup, and I’m not really one to talk about my feelings with others so it felt better just to write things down as I was feeling them. Half of the album is comprised of songs that harbor more anger towards my ex, those were written and recorded by August last year, and the other half is more self-reflective, and was written and recorded around December. I would write all the lyrics and melodies, come up with chord progressions, and then get together with my band to bring the songs to life before going to record. All the parts played by my band members are their original ideas.
Were there any challenges or breakthrough moments during the songwriting process for 'You Don't Want Help?'
A big challenge was the shift in my songwriting style. My previous singles and EPs were more mellow, folky, soft indie songs, but I have been wanting to pan over to a more rock heavy sound for a while. I didn’t want the change to be so sudden so I tried to incorporate both styles into the album. That led to some feelings of imposter syndrome and just struggling to have the songs fit together, but I think we ended up with a really good mix of two styles.
Can you talk about any standout tracks on the album and what makes them special to you?
“My Dog” is actually the only song on the album that doesn’t directly address my past relationship. I wrote that song about my mom and how much I look up to her. I love playing that song at shows because it’s nice to get a break from singing about someone who hurt me to sing about someone who lifts me up so much. It also is a crowd favorite I’ve noticed, and hearing people sing along gives me chills every time. I like to think that everyone is able to apply that song to someone they love and trust.
How did you get started in music, and what inspired you to become a singer-songwriter?
I started taking music lessons when I was very young, I think four or five. My parents said I used to just sing all the time and honestly never shut up but they noticed I could carry a tune so they put me in voice and piano lessons. I took those lessons until I was about 12, and then I started branching out towards other instruments like guitar, bass, and violin. So music has always been my main hobby and extracurricular activity. I wanted to be a performer since I was little as well, so it came naturally when I decided I was ready to try writing music. As I matured it got so much easier to put my feelings into music, and I’ve loved becoming a singer-songwriter because like I said, I’m not great about seeking comfort in others. It is so essential to my well-being to be able to put my emotions into a medium where people can still hear what I have to say, but I don’t have to speak directly to anyone. I decided to release music not only to have my thoughts out in the world as a way of letting go of them, but also because I want my songs to find people who can relate to them and seek solace in them like I do.
Can you share the story behind one of your favorite songs that you’ve written?
I think “Body Farm” is my favorite song I’ve written. It is my most vulnerable song for sure, and the most cathartic to perform live. After my big breakup, I was deep into depression and all I wanted to do all day was lay in bed and “rot”. I wanted someone to notice and I was always wondering how my ex would feel if he could see how much I was hurting, I didn’t think it was fair that he just got to move on with his life while mine was put to such a halt. I don’t even know if he has ever listened to the song, but I wanted it to make him realize how much he had hurt me. The name came about way after I wrote the song actually, I was with my friend and fellow musician, Willa Mae, and her mom was talking about working across the street from an actual body farm and how weird it is to think about what’s going on in there as she’s just going about her daily life. I had no idea what a body farm was and honestly just looked it up and realized it was the perfect metaphor for how I had been feeling. I love spooky and macabre media and I thought it would be fun to just lean into the eeriness of the song by giving it such a name. I think it’s my most clever song and it’s so deeply personal I’m sure it will be my favorite for a long time!