Diego Philips On the Making Of ‘I want to laugh until I cry’
What is the inspiration behind ‘I Want to Laugh Until I Cry?’
I remember the starting point just about two years ago. I was going through a rough patch where I felt overwhelmed most of the time and struggled with anxiety and panic attacks. I had just moved across from a Buddhist center in London, so I decided to attend a few seminars and learn more about Buddhism.
One day, I went to a talk led by a monk where he discussed happiness and the power of meditation. During the talk, he said something along the lines of, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
That sentence stayed with me—I thought about it constantly and played it in my mind a million times. The song title, “I Want to Laugh Until I Cry,” came from this idea of choosing happiness, finding moments of lightness in between the tough, inevitable challenges of life.
Once I had the title, I wrote the song, and it became the starting point for the whole project.
How did you approach the arrangement and composition of the music for this EP?
When I first met with Alexander Sokolow (the producer), the songs were almost finished, but they still felt a bit shy and needed a little push. It became clear that the songs came from a very personal and intimate place, so we wanted to reflect that atmosphere in the production.
Everything else came naturally after that. We kept the songs simple and fragile because that’s what they needed to be. The addition of the cello was inspired by Nick Drake, whose work has always been a big influence for me.
Which song do you like the best and why?
The opening and title track is my favorite. For me, it’s a piece of the puzzle I had been waiting for a long time. I was struggling to write new songs, didn’t enjoy playing music anymore, and felt like I had nothing left to say. When that song appeared, it unlocked so many things for me. I also love the way silence plays a part in the song—it feels as important as the notes themselves.
What is your songwriting process like? How do you usually start crafting a new song?
I don’t have any big secret. I always start with the music, usually on guitar. Actually, Time and Water are the first songs I’ve written on piano that made it onto a record. The lyrics always come after—they get glued to the music.
Many of your songs seem very personal. How do you balance sharing your experiences while maintaining a connection with your audience?
I focus on being honest first and trust the connection will follow. This is probably the first time I’ve embraced being personal without worrying too much about the audience. My audience isn’t very big, so I can still afford not to overthink it.
I believe that if it comes from an honest place, people will feel the connection—after all, we’re only human, and there’s so much we all share.